Getting Through Relationship Breakdowns

There is absolutely no doubt that a relationship break down is hard and most of us, at some stage in our life will go through it. . Relationship breakdowns are never easy, no matter how mutual or civilized the break up is. It’s a tough time in anyone’s life and it is important to do things that are healthy and will help you heal and move on in a positive way.

Here are some pointers on how to get past a relationship breakdown so that you can live your best life yet:

  1. Cry as often as you want

Crying is a very healthy, natural way to release grief and pain. You may be afraid to start to cry for fear that you will not be able to stop but you will.


  1. Do something positive everyday

Help yourself heal. It’s good idea to exercise – walk, run, join a gym (you may meet new people), read a book you have wanted to get around to reading, watch some self-help videos, learn to meditate (there are lots of meditation groups around) and never underestimate the power of positive prayer (regardless of if you are spiritual or religious). Pick new activities that you know will be fun and uplifting, ask friends to encourage you or join you!

  1. Seek out help

If you find yourself struggling seek out some support -a trusted friend, a counsellor or your Doctor. You will be surprised how much better you feel by talking things out with someone. Seeking help early can help put things in perspective.

  1. Stand up for you.

If your ex-partner continues to call you or will not leave you alone, be clear in your words and actions-ask them to give you time and space to heal and move on from the relationship. It is important to set clear and concise boundaries when it comes to your ex-partner. If they are harassing or threatening you, call the police for information and advice.

For more information and support-

  1. Keep busy

Make sure you keep yourself busy. Organise to catch up with friends, go to the gym, take a long relaxing walk in your favourite park or sign up for a new class or workshop. Be kind to yourself but keeping busy will help you move on quicker, don’t sit at home and dwell over the break up; you have to free your mind so your heart can heal.

  1. Resist ”rebounding” into a new relationship

Don’t go out looking for a new partner straight away, this usually ends up adding more pain to the break up. A rebound relationship can fill the void in the short term but if you do not process the relationship break up in a healthy way it may negatively impact on the new relationship. Give yourself time to recover from the breakup.

  1. Take your time

Make sure you take a healthy amount of time to get over the breakdown of a relationship. Avoid making big sudden changes like moving states or moving to another town, major changes like that are usually about avoiding feelings. Believe that with a little time, patience and support you will feel better and will find love again.

  1. Research

It is a good idea to research how other people got over a relationship breakdown. There is a lot of material out there. A lot of people don’t just merely survive but go on to thrive. Rest assured that you will find love for yourself and another again.

Some great relationship resources can be found at:

Relationships Australia

Family Relationships Online


MensLine Australia