TheBlackDogInstitute

Getting Through Relationship Breakdowns

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There is absolutely no doubt that a relationship break down is hard and most of us, at some stage in our life will go through it. . Relationship breakdowns are never easy, no matter how mutual or civilized the break up is. It’s a tough time in anyone’s life and it is important to do things that are healthy and will help you heal and move on in a positive way.

Here are some pointers on how to get past a relationship breakdown so that you can live your best life yet:

  1. Cry as often as you want

Crying is a very healthy, natural way to release grief and pain. You may be afraid to start to cry for fear that you will not be able to stop but you will.

 

  1. Do something positive everyday

Help yourself heal. It’s good idea to exercise – walk, run, join a gym (you may meet new people), read a book you have wanted to get around to reading, watch some self-help videos, learn to meditate (there are lots of meditation groups around) and never underestimate the power of positive prayer (regardless of if you are spiritual or religious). Pick new activities that you know will be fun and uplifting, ask friends to encourage you or join you!

  1. Seek out help

If you find yourself struggling seek out some support -a trusted friend, a counsellor or your Doctor. You will be surprised how much better you feel by talking things out with someone. Seeking help early can help put things in perspective.

  1. Stand up for you.

If your ex-partner continues to call you or will not leave you alone, be clear in your words and actions-ask them to give you time and space to heal and move on from the relationship. It is important to set clear and concise boundaries when it comes to your ex-partner. If they are harassing or threatening you, call the police for information and advice.

For more information and support- https://www.1800respect.org.au/

  1. Keep busy

Make sure you keep yourself busy. Organise to catch up with friends, go to the gym, take a long relaxing walk in your favourite park or sign up for a new class or workshop. Be kind to yourself but keeping busy will help you move on quicker, don’t sit at home and dwell over the break up; you have to free your mind so your heart can heal.

  1. Resist ”rebounding” into a new relationship

Don’t go out looking for a new partner straight away, this usually ends up adding more pain to the break up. A rebound relationship can fill the void in the short term but if you do not process the relationship break up in a healthy way it may negatively impact on the new relationship. Give yourself time to recover from the breakup.

  1. Take your time

Make sure you take a healthy amount of time to get over the breakdown of a relationship. Avoid making big sudden changes like moving states or moving to another town, major changes like that are usually about avoiding feelings. Believe that with a little time, patience and support you will feel better and will find love again.

  1. Research

It is a good idea to research how other people got over a relationship breakdown. There is a lot of material out there. A lot of people don’t just merely survive but go on to thrive. Rest assured that you will find love for yourself and another again.

Some great relationship resources can be found at:

Relationships Australia

Family Relationships Online

Interrelate

MensLine Australia

ReachOut

1800Respect

 

 

Launch of QPR for Business

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This month LifeSpan launched its QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) Training for businesses.

In conjunction with the Hunter New England Central Coast Primary Health Network (HNECCPHN) we are now able to offer QPR Training for free for all local businesses to equip their employees with QPR lifesaving skills.

QPR is currently the only online training available in suicide prevention with a firm evidence base. It has been demonstrated to help save lives and to equip people with the confidence and skills to be able to help someone who may be experiencing psychological distress, including where to go to get help.

How will my business be supported by LifeSpan?

Your business will have a LifeSpan business team member contact you to discuss how QPR for business can work for you and your business, what resources are available to support you and to find out what you need to start the QPR journey. We’re here to support you each step of the way.

We have resources to support you and your managers and for your employees. Resources that link people to crisis numbers, support lines and on-line resources and face to face support.

You will also be regularly contacted by your LifeSpan representative and be supported throughout your QPR journey.

A big thank you to our partner, the Hunter New England Central Coast Primary Health Network for being able to assist LifeSpan to make valuable QPR Training available to all businesses who want to train their staff in suicide prevention skills. This is an exciting time for LifeSpan and we are looking forward to building a suicide safe Central Coast.

If your business is interested in training staff in QPR please email us at [email protected]

We look forward to working with you soon.

Positive Goal Setting n the New Year!

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Happy New Year from the LifeSpan Team! We had a lovely break over the Christmas and New Year period but we are back on deck and hitting the ground running. There are lots of exciting plans for 2019 so keep an eye on our blog for updates.

With the New Year comes the intention of setting positive goals and resolutions for the year ahead. Here’s some tips on how you can stick to and make positive changes in 2019.

  1. Strive for goals that are attainable and realistic.

The surest way to break a New Year’s resolution is to make your goal unattainable. An example is to never eat ice cream again when ice cream is your favourite treat or snack; it is setting yourself up to fail. Instead say you will treat yourself to ice cream once a week or once a fortnight and to have a smaller portion.

  1. Plan In advance

 

Planning for a goal, giving it a lot of thought, weighing up the pro’s and con’s sets a good foundation for achieving your goals.

Here’s a good goal setting program Self Authoring Program , this helps you set a good vision for each of your goals.  A vision board with picture of your goals helps you to keep focused on what you want to achieve- it’s also fun to make.

 

  1. Make a pro’s & con’s list

Make a list of the pros and cons of each particular goal to make sure you are not selling yourself short in order to obtain the goal. For example, you may want to take an overseas holiday. The pro is that you are going to have a lovely time in Europe but a con may be that in order to save the money you will have to cut your gym membership. Weigh up the positives and negatives and see if it is going to be worthwhile to make some sacrifices.

  1. Talk about it

Don’t keep your goals or resolutions a secret, talk to your friends and family about what it is you are want to achieve, they can help keep you on track or even help you with your goal.. Your friends can hold you accountable by and you can help each other.

  1. Reward yourself

Make sure that you are also rewarding yourself. If you are denying yourself experiences or things in order to achieve a goal you can almost be guaranteed that you will slip up and be tempted to stop trying to achieve. For example, you may want to save $5,000 this year and not spending any money on anything fun. Instead, maybe each time you save $500 you can allow yourself to go and buy a something for yourself as a celebration. This way you are still feeling like you are not denying yourself of things in order to save money.

 

  1. Don’t be so hard on yourself

Don’t beat yourself up over the occasional slip up; this doesn’t help you to achieve your goal. Just take each day as it comes and if you slip up just get back on track again. Tomorrow is another day.

 

  1. Stick with it

Research says that it takes 21 days to form a habit and six months for it to form into part of your personality so stick with it. Persistence pays off eventually.

 

  1. Keep trying

Don’t despair if you have not stuck to your resolutions by February, just start over and keep going. Tomorrow is a new day, just keep on going, if you slip up, get back on track. . Talk to friends; get some ideas on what they suggest to help you stick to your goals. If you become despondent consider a life coach or a counsellor.

 

  1. Do free QPR Training (save a life in 2019)!

Make 2019 the year that you do free QPR training to help save a life. QPR is Question, Persuade, Refer and is a free online suicide prevention training course. QPR will help you to recognise the warning signs for suicide and help you to start a conversation to help those in need. Click here to access free QPR Training.